Sunday, January 31, 2016

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


#SmartCity Ever since he took over office, Moody has wanted to impress people with his visions and there is no denying the fact that he has succeeded in leaving behind his trademark on whatever he has touched. Including conversion. And, the conversion of a dull, lackluster city to a Smart City is one of his brainwaves.
‘Your plan to create Smart Cities is a smart one,’ Banka Nadoo told Moody who had called him to his office.
‘Good. My plans are always smart ones. Tell me, how have the people accepted the first list of 20 cities destined to become Smart Cities?’ he asked Banka Nadoo.
‘There has been mixed reactions,’ Banka said. ‘In fact, many of them do not know how to go about it.’
‘It is so simple,’ Moody said. ‘Varanasi will show them the way. It is not in the list now but it will soon be as smart and likeable as any Japanese city with kimono clad women on the roads.’
‘There had been ideas floating around of making Mumbai into Shanghai and Kolkata to London. Bit – they never pursued them.’
‘That is why they did not get to first base,’ Moody chuckled. ‘Actually, smartness is in our blood. We want to look smart. The girls go in for skin treatments, they follow the style of their heroines. And – the boys copy their filmi heroes or cricket heroes. Why can’t the cities follow suit and copy another city that boats of smartness.’
‘Pardon me, but I think many of the city fathers have no idea of smart cities.’
‘Can they not go on tours to the cities and gather information firsthand?’
‘They are doing it. One team had recently been to Andaman to study how to control flooding in cities,’ Banka Nadoo elaborated. ‘But, critics have bashed them saying that they have spent taxpayer’s money on a useless mission. It is common knowledge that drains are clogged by plastics and thermocol hence the flooding takes place.’
‘They should have gone to some European country to study how to paint the city walls. That way they would have earned bouquets and not brickbats. Anyway – tell me, how would you go about making your city smart?’
‘I will have only the smart looking men and women on the roads during the day. Others can use the roads at night.’
‘Not bad. What about vehicles?’
‘Same logic – only the smart vehicles will ply in the day. The ramshackle buses and more than 15-year-old vehicles will not see the light of day, they’ll do the night shift.’
‘How about the roadside hawkers? They spoil the beauty of any city. How will you eliminate them from the scenery?’
‘They hawk the goods to earn a living. They cannot be wished away because they are an integral part of our culture.’
‘And slums?’
‘They also are a necessary evil,’ Banka Nadoo replied. ‘We have to bear with them.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Friday, January 29, 2016

International financiers after Didi’s secrets (satire)


Patro Chatto was at the airport – Didi had entrusted him with the task of receiving the international guests at Dum Dum airport. International flights do not come to the city. Therefore, the guests had alighted at Delhi and, the ever faithful Moo Cool was arranging to send them from Delhi to Kolkata by domestic flights.
The guests had come to put Didi under the lens and find out how she managed to finance so many projects of social relevance even though her coffers were empty. At least that is what she keeps saying at every forum.
Suddenly Patro’s mobile phone rang. It was Abhi Shake at the other end.
‘How many more are you sending?’ he asked Patro.
Patro did not like the tone of his voice – it reeked of authority and power. And, Patro was helpless. He had to swallow his pride and maintain a cordial relation on the surface because Abhi was Didi’s relative.
‘I have already dispatched six of the delegates. All the vehicles have gone and I am waiting for the next batch of vehicles. I still have six more guests.’
‘Keep them busy, I’ll send back the vehicles. But – it may take some time.’
‘How do I keep the guests waiting?’ Patro asked.
‘Take them to the restaurant.’
‘It does not serve continental dishes.’
‘Then let then enjoy or very own fast foods like beguni and telebhaja. They can even taste the nalen gurer rasogolla for a change. They’ll love the food items. And - who knows, one of them might even agree to import our delicacies.’
‘OK – I’ll do that. But – why would the vehicles get delayed?’
‘The bypass road is under repair.’
Anyway, by evening, the guests gathered in one of the posh hotels. Didi was there, beaming at each of the guests. She had modified the conference hall and garlanded each of the delegates. She also gave each of them a memento to carry back home.
‘Shoot,’ she finally said after all formalities was over.
‘I want to know your secret of making something out of nothing. You say that you have inherited empty coffers. How then can you spend so much money on cycles, sarees, scholarships, books, shoes etcetera.’
‘Do you know Black Magic?’ another delegate asked.
‘Or – sleight of hand?’ the third delegate asked.
Didi looked at Omit Misra, her man of finance. He stood up, wiped his glasses, gave a smile and nodded to the guests. ‘We have a person named Gouri Sen,’ he explained. ‘He is our financier. He has loads of money at his disposal and never runs short of cash.’
‘But – there were rumors that there was another Sen …’
Didi cut him short.
‘Gentlemen,’ she gave the audience her tired smile. ‘Dinner is ready. Let us break for dinner. We can continue our talks as we bite into real Bengali cuisine. For dessert, there is mishti doi’ (to be contd …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Moody and his French connection (satire)


Moody was in a pensive mood. He was alone in his chamber and was shuffling a pack of cards. He loved to play the game of Patience once in a while and, when the bug bit him, he would switch on the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign and busy himself playing cards.
He was always a loner and Patience was his favorite game.
Suddenly his phone rang. It was his new found French connection Francis Highland. Both of them had shared plenty of thoughts while riding the Delhi Metro.
‘Oi Monsieur,’ Moody said.
‘Kemchhey?’ Francis wanted to show off his skills.
‘Saruchhey,’ Moody replied. ‘Tell me - what do you have in mind now?’
‘I want to sign one more MOU,’ Francis replied.
‘About manufacture?’
‘Yes – manufacture of those delightful yellow, fluffy, mouthwatering dhoklas,’ the Frenchman said. ‘It will be a joint venture. Your manpower and expertise and my profits. You make in India, I sell in France.’
‘Good, we’ll add it in our agenda.’
Francis Highland cut off the phone and suddenly there was a discreet knock on the door.
Moody quickly gathered the cards, shoved them in his table drawer and switched off the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign.
The door opened and Jet Lee peered in.
‘May I come in?’ he asked.
Moody stroked his nicely cropped beard and waved him in.
‘I want to congratulate you on being the most popular leader of today,’ Jet Lee said.
‘I know. But, right now I have something else on my mind,’ Moody twirled the pencil in between his fingers. ‘You can share it with me. I’ll keep it a secret,’ Jet Lee assured.
‘I want to make some changes in the portfolios of my ministers,’ Moody said. ‘So many months are over and even now there are a number of slots vacant. That is not correct.’
‘How will changing portfolios solve the problem? You will, actually, need more ministers.’
‘No. I want to give the present ministers additional responsibilities. Like the river cleaning ministry. The concerned minister loves cows. I want to club both.’
‘But – cows have been taken over already by Someday Baba – you now him, don’t you? He is the man who produces gobar gas and uses it to generate electricity for his noodles factory. He also has his men drawing up plans to send a mission to the Moon using gobar gas as fuel.’
‘I love my ministers,’ Moody looked pleased. ‘They are going out of their way to create a new culture where anything foreign is taboo – except, of course, the bullet train and the Rafael fighter planes. We can also accept foreigners in our ceremonial parades. But – we must not imitate their dress codes or food habits. All those short revealing dresses and beef are not our culture.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Goddess Durga, Moody and the lotus (satire)


‘You seem to be having something on your mind,’ Lord Shiva looked at Durga who was walking aimlessly in front of the cave in Mount Kailash.
‘I am worried about the lotus,’ Durga said.
‘Why?’ Shiva asked. ‘I hear lotus is blooming all over the country’.
‘You are misinformed,’ Durga objected. ‘Lotus needs water, they grow in ponds and lakes and those are drying up. People are filling up the waterbodies and constructing multistoried buildings. Where is the water for lotus to bloom?’
‘Don’t worry,’ Shiva assured. ‘There are many bright boys and girls around. Someone will certainly think up a way to circumvent the problem.’
‘You mean they will create artificial lotus?’
‘Well – the possibility is there,’ Shiva replied. ‘Today is the world of fakes. Have you not seen artificial flowers in the markets? ’
‘With the number of my pujas increasing every year, I wonder how the organizers will manage to get so many lotus flowers to perform my puja,’ Durga was serious.
‘I can let you in on a secret,’ Lord Shiva smiled.
‘Will the organizers import the lotus from abroad? My puja requires 108 lotus – and with at least 5000 pujas every year, the total required would run into lakhs.’
‘I have heard that someone wants to cultivate lotus flowers. He is doing it on a large scale. He has got permission to categorize it as an industry. That way he can get bank loan.’
‘Whose bright idea is it?’
‘There is a fiery lady down there who sees the making of an industry everywhere,’ Shiva clarified. ‘To her, anyone who produces anything is an industrialist. Therefore, in her kingdom pickles, sweets, papads, handicrafts fall in that category.’
‘And – she’ll now add lotus industry?’ Durga asked.
‘Yes,’ Shiva nodded. ‘She is rounding up people who have lost their lotus potentials. She wants to bring sunshine into their lives via the lotus blooms. There won’t be any shortage.’
‘But – there is another person called Moody who wants to put more and more lotus in his bag,’ Durga said.
‘Time only can answer that question,’ Shiva turned philosopher.
‘Why don’t you advise this Moody character to make it a law that every house must produce at least one lotus regularly?’ Durga suggested.
‘I only wish there will not be any clash of interests with the fiery woman leader.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Monday, January 25, 2016

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)


#kolkatabookfair #boimela It was time for the annual Kolkata Book Fair, fondly known as Boi Mela. It is a reason for celebration and millions of people from all walks of life come to the venue to not just look at the books on display but, also to partake of the hundred and one outlets that invite them to taste the wide variety of food stuff.
‘I see tough times ahead,’ Abhi Shake said. He was closeted with Moo Cool, Patro Chatto, Dee Wreck, Fear Had and Omit Misra.
‘Our opponents are ganging up to dislodge us,’ Patro murmured. Of late, he was finding to speak clearly – he had put on weight and it affected his speech pattern. He was always out of breath.
‘We must put our heads together to arrange finances,’ Omit Misra wiped his glasses for the umpteenth time. He was finding it hard to balance his books. He was a man of finance and, even though it had been drilled into his mind that he must cut his coat according to his cloth, he had to cut corners to make both ends meet.
But Didi never understood him. She kept asking for more and more and he had to keep borrowing to satisfy the demands. ‘I think we can leave finance to Didi,’ Moo Cool said. ‘She knows best.’
‘Last time she sold her paintings for crores of rupees,’ Dee Wreck reminded.
‘But of late she hasn’t picked up the brush for a long time,’ Abhi Shake said. ‘When will she crate her masterpieces?’ ‘Don’t worry,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘She has a powerful pen. It is more powerful than her voice and she knows just how to beat the odds.’
‘You mean her books will rake in the crores?’ there was disbelief in Omit Misra’s voice. ‘Those who love paintings may not love books.’
‘Just wait and watch,’ Moo Cool said. ‘Let the Book Fair open and you can see how her books fly off the shelves. They’ll sell like hot cakes. She loves to write as she loves to draw. Deep within her lies a dormant artist who rears its head when required especially to generate funds.’
‘She has the stamina,’ Dee Wreck added. ‘Drawing requires a studio but writing does not. She has been traveling a lot and, while on the move, she has been penning her thoughts. And – she will be releasing ten of her books in the fair.’ (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Friday, January 22, 2016

Half pant brigade to participate on R-Day (satire)


#rday #makeinindia #halfpant #yoga Another R-day was looming large on the horizon and Moody was wary because his chief guest might find it difficult to have a clear vison of the impressive scenes that would unfold before his eyes. The problem was the fog and poor visibility.
‘How best can we overcome the problem?’ he asked Sue Sharma who was seated with him in his chamber along with Jet Lee and Hash Budden.
‘An exercise of odd-even had managed to reduce the problem,’ Hash Budden said. ‘But – that should not be a major problem because the tableaus would move at a snail’s pace.’
‘We could give him binoculars,’ Sue suggested. ‘That way he need not strain his eyes.’
‘And – the half pant brigade will be an added attraction,’ Moody said. ‘I want to popularize it.’
‘I know, ’Sue Sharma said. ‘There has been criticism from some quarters on this issue.’
‘I am not bothered about that. If people can go around in bermudas and hot pants, then why can’t some of them go around in half pants?’
‘You do have a point there,’ Sue agreed.
‘Moreover the half pant team would twirl their sticks and demonstrate how effective a weapon it can be. It will be a golden tribute to our Make in India concept.’
Jet Lee nodded his approval.
‘I want to take him to Varanasi also,’ Moody said. ‘I want to show him around my dream city that is coming up like its Japanese counterpart. I thought of taking him on our new train. It looks just like a foreign train.’
‘It’ll be a long journey,’ Jet Lee said.
‘Jut an overnight journey,’ Moody brushed off the remarks. ‘It will bring us closer. We can lay the groundwork for some important deals.’
‘That is right,’ Hash Budden sounded serious. ‘What deals do you have in mind?’
‘We have exported the yoga – now it is the turn of the half pant and stick,’ Moody said and reached for a dhokla. ‘I am sure once my guest sees the power of the stick that the half pant brigade can wield, he will take home the idea and introduce it in his country. It will save him money on security.’
The others also reached for their dhoklas – this had become a routine, dhokla on a regular basis along with tea minus sugar and milk. Either dhokla or gathia. They longed for snacks like samosa with tea made of a liberal dose of milk and sugar which gives extra energy. But – they had got used to these changes. (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Didi wants to give Ilish at Rs 10 per Kg (satire)


Moo Cool looked at Abhi Shake, Patro Chatto and Omit Sen and shook his head. The demands of Didi was becoming more and more demanding with every passing day. All of them could sense that she was becoming desperate and wanted to be seen everywhere with her people – doling out the freebies.
‘What do we project now?’ Moo Cool asked others.
‘We have given way bicycles, school uniforms, school books, shoes and even rice at Rs 2 per Kg – what do we give away now?’ Dee Wreck spoke out his thoughts.
‘Mobile phones could be an idea,’Abhi Shake suggested. ‘That way Didi could have direct contact with one and all.’
Suddenly the lady herself entered – she came in like a gust of wind and looked hard at the assembled gathering and found some faces missing.
‘Where is Show Van? And – Fear Had?’ she asked.
‘Both are indisposed,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They had a heavy dinner – at a marriage party. You know how such parties are – it takes great resolve to miss out on those delicious fish fries and ice creams.’
‘I have repeatedly told all of you to stay away from such parties,’ Didi was not happy. ‘There is no knowing who will snap whose photo and flash it on TV. And - I’ll have to do the explaining. This will go down in my black book.’
A boy entered with a tray of tea cups and a kettle of tea – any meeting minus tea is meaningless.
Didi took a sip and put on her glasses.
‘Well – what have you decided? What should we project now?’
‘We could distribute free Padma Ilish,’ Patro Chatto suggested. ‘There is an improvement in relationship with our neighbor. Moody has laid the foundation and we can build on it.’
‘But – what is ilish without mustard oil?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Then we will make a package deal,’ Didi appeared to like the idea. ‘Make the announcement – we will distribute one ilish along with mustard oil on subsidized rates in my next meeting. If we keep them happy, they will not disappoint us.’
‘What will we charge?’
‘We are giving rice for Rs 2 per Kg – we will price Ilish at Rs 10 per Kg. Let our friends enjoy life. Omit-ji, please arrange necessary funds as you have been doing till now.’
‘But – the stock of your drawings is exhausted,’ Omit Misra said. ‘You’ll have to create some more.’ (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Moody’s skill development program (satire)


Moody had been in saddle for more than one year and he was worried about his bunch of eager beavers who were continuously up to something or the other. His critics were there crouching in every corner, ready to corner him and pull him down but, his oratory powers stopped them in their tracks.
Still, Moody was a worried man. There was a weighty problem on his head.
He looked around at his band of trusted lieutenants and cleared his throat.
‘Hope you have come prepared?’ he asked.
All of them nodded. They dare not say that they were not informed about any agenda. Moody would not like that. So, they just nodded and prepared to brave whatever onslaught comes because no one questioned the leader – he is the Boss and the Boss is always right.
There were the usual bunch of Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Ranee-ji, Uma-ji, Nitty Gadcurry, Hash Budden and Baba Someday. ‘Do you know what I have in my hand?’ Moody asked and waved a sheaf of papers.
There was pin drop silence.
‘It is a weighty issue,’ Moody said.
‘Is our good neighbor playing pranks again?’ Jet Lee wanted to know.
‘No,’ Sue Sharma intervened. ‘He will not dare to do anything. He has got a severe baulking from you-know-who. If he plays mischief, he will not get his fighter plane.’
‘Then?’ Nitty asked no one in particular.
‘I have with me an interesting list,’ Moody said. ‘I want it to be a part of our skill development program. I want your views on it. How should we approach it.’
‘Let us have some more input,’ Jet Lee said. He was a man of finance and depended on inputs.
‘You mentioned about a weighty issue. Is it about the traders? Are they cheating with underweight measures?’ Baba Someday was alert. In his set up in Pat & Jolie, he had installed electronic devices. No manual weighing.
‘No. I think the matter pertains to Hash Budden, the doctor and Baba Someday, the yoga specialist,’ Moody said. ‘They can make useful contribution.’
‘I will certainly do my best,’ Hash Budden replied.
‘So will I,’ Baba wiped his growth of beard and said.
‘This list is about those of you who have put on weight over the last few months and I am disturbed,’ Moody said. ‘It includes the women also,’ and he cast a meaningful glance at Ranee-ji and Uma-ji. ‘I think we must make yoga a habit and not keep it reserved for only the Yoga Day.’
‘I agree with you,’ Baba said. ‘We can meet here every morning and do yoga for an hour.’
‘I want all of you to concentrate on the skill development for weight reduction,’ Moody said. ‘It will pay dividends. We will compile the findings and release a book on ‘Skill Development for weight reduction.’ Ranee-ji can make it compulsory at all levels of education.’ (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Monday, January 18, 2016

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


#patisapta #makarsankranti ‘I smell some goodies,’ Lord Shiva announced as he paced outside his cave. He had his trident with him and he used it to support his weight. He had grown a bit bulky because there was not much running around.
‘Yes,’ Durga smiled. ‘Our girls are preparing the goodies for celebrating Makar Sankranti.’
‘I only hope they think up something new,’ Shiva said. ‘The same coconut stuffing in between a layer of rice paste is to boring.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Durga said. ‘They’ll surprise you with their creation.’
Suddenly Ganesh strolled out of his cave. He seemed to be pleased with himself. Unlike Shiva’s other children, Ganesh was always in demand. Each and every man runs after money and, money means Ganesh. Without his blessings, money does not come.
Of course, Lakshmi also shared Ganesh’s popularity - but, she was more liked by the women. They prayed for her blessings – and it was usually restricted to only Thursdays. The reason was obvious – they had so many other chores to attend to. Therefore, praying to Lakshmi was reserved for one day in the week.
Ganesh held a kite in his hand and his gang of faithful mouse was following him – one of them, the leader, kept tugging at the thread attached to the kite.
‘Where’s is your brother?’ Shiva asked.
‘He is putting finishing touches to his hair,’ Ganesh said. ‘He has got a new gel. It will keep his hair always at an angle. No amount of wind can ruffle it. He is trying it out’
‘Are you not competing in any kite festival?’ Shiva wanted to know.
‘Kartika and I will pit ourselves against Bhringi and his gang,’ Ganesh said.
Shiva slowly walked towards the dining room. The aroma of goodies was floating in the air and drew him to its source. But – Durga shooed him away.
‘Have patience,’ she said. ‘The girls are doing a great job. Don’t disturb them.'
‘I never knew that making patisapta was so complicated,’ Shiva murmured.
Durga grinned.
‘They have got hold of a new recipe from the TV,’ she said. ‘They are putting the finishing touches.’
‘What is so special?’ Shiva demanded to know.
‘The ingredients,’ Durga said. ‘It is going to be a special patisapta. They want to give it a global flavor. With additives that foreigners can recognize. It will be a part of the Make in India initiative. I heard Saraswati wants to patent the recipe.’
‘Well,’ Shiva sighed. ‘To me patisapta is coconut stuffing in a bed of rice paste.’ (to be continued …)


(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Didi has, of late, gone into a shell – those in her close circuit say that she is seeing red. There is a saying – don’t show the bull a red rag. And, that is just what is happening. She is having a tough time to keep her cool.
Therefore, when she summoned her close aides over to her house for a cup of tea, they all spelt trouble – they knew she was in jitters. So were they. The future looked bleak until some miracle happened.
‘Has everyone arrived?’ Didi asked as she glanced over the grim faces in front of her.
Moo Cool, Abhi Shake, Dee Wreck, Omit Misra, Patro Chatto, Show Van and Fear Had – all were there. Smile was forbidden in her presence and, if she cut a joke, the others could, at best, smile. Just stretch the lips to smile.
‘Has the instruction been given to destroy all red paint?’ she asked Show Van.
She was greeted by a nod.
‘What have you instructed?’ she looked at Show Van.
He squirmed under her gaze.
‘All paint factories have been told to stop production of red paint,’ he said. ‘No one can dare to paint the town red now.’
‘I have also written in the social media about the ill effects of red – we do not want anyone to see red,’ Dee Wreck said as he wiped his thick glasses.
‘I have also sent out word that beetroots should not come to the markets,’ Moo Cool added.
‘And what about Patro?’ Didi asked him. ‘Have you told the schools and colleges? Especially the arts college. They love to dab in red paint.’
‘All schools have been told to ensure that children do not use red color tubes. The tubes must be removed out and deposited with the class teacher who will have to destroy them,’ Patro panted out the words. He always panted when he spoke – it was his huge body.
It was Omit Misra who now spoke.
‘One red will still remain,’ he said. ‘And – we just have to bear with it.’
‘What do you mean?’ Didi asked. ‘We have removed all traces of red. How can any red still remain? I think you are mistaken.’
‘No,’ Omit Misra smiled. ‘That just cannot be wished away. It is an international affair.’
‘You mean the Chinese and the Russians?’ Didi asked. ‘They are being taken care of by our friend Moody.’
‘I mean the red lights at traffic signals,’ Omit Misra said. (to be continued …)


(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)


Beautiful diners get tables near windows or high visibility areas in restaurants

Ahmedabad hosts 13th edition of 'Sattvik' - the pan-India food festival

53-year-old British woman flew 13000-mile in 1942 bi-plane from Farnborough to Sydney


Shah Rukh Khan’s fond wish - to see Ethan Hunt and James Bond in one movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Motorcycle riding gunmen open fire upon tourists as they boarded bus in Cairo

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

German police hunting for seven suicide bombers who planned to blow up Munich railway stations

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)


#cows #gobargas Moody, like everyone else, was fully aware of the importance of cows. He hated to be cowed by cows. But, he was on the horns of the cow dilemma - why did the cow jump over the Moon?
He had, therefore, called a special meeting of people whom he could trust with his life. Prominent among them was Baba Someday, Jet Lee, Hash Budden, Sue Sharma and Nitty Gadcurry.
‘Tell me Baba, why did the cow jump over the Moon? Can a cow really jump that high?’ Moody asked Baba Someday. He, in Moody’s opinion, was an expert on cows.
Baba blinked. He was caught on the wrong foot. He never knew this aspect of the cow. He had been exploiting all the products of the cow. His Pat & Jolie was producing cow milk products. He had also gone in for gobar gas in a big way. He planned to use it to power a future probe to the Red Planet Mars.
But, he had not heard about a cow jumping over the Moon.
‘Are you sure it was a cow?’ he wanted to clarify.
‘Of course,’ Moody said. ‘All the kids know about it. It is in a nursery rhyme and in the school syllabus.’
Baba was stumped.
‘I think it must have been a goat,’ Nitty Gadcurry intervened. ‘They can jump over fences.’
‘Or – sheep,’ Hash Budden suggested. ‘You know – we count sheep jumping over the fence when we are unable to sleep. I have advised many of my patients on this. Counting sheep is good for insomnia.’
Moody glared at his audience.
‘No,’ he said. ‘All of us are discussing cows on every platform but, none of you seem to know that a cow can jump over the Moon. I never expected this from you. How can you convince people with such little knowledge?’
It was now Sue Sharma who spoke.
‘I have also heard about this,’ she gave everyone her trademark smile. ‘We must find out more about this.’
‘How will you go about it?’ Moody asked.
‘We can make it a part of one of our post graduate curriculum,’ she said. ‘We can set up a separate research center to study how high a cow can jump. And – train the animals to keep jumping higher and higher. I am sure if they keep trying, they can jump over the Moon.’
‘Good idea,’ Moody said. ‘But – it will take time. I want something fast.’
‘I have an alternative suggestion,’ Sue Sharma once again flashed her smile.
‘What is that?’ Moody sat forward in his seat.
‘I’ll send a mail to the Google chaps. They must know. They have all the answers.’
Moody heaved a sigh of relief.
‘That’s a wonderful idea,’ he said. ‘But, don’t worry – I’ll send the mail. A mail from me will have greater effect than a mail from someone else. I want them to feel important.’ (to be continued …)


(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)


Beautiful diners get tables near windows or high visibility areas in restaurants

Ahmedabad hosts 13th edition of 'Sattvik' - the pan-India food festival

53-year-old British woman flew 13000-mile in 1942 bi-plane from Farnborough to Sydney


Shah Rukh Khan’s fond wish - to see Ethan Hunt and James Bond in one movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Motorcycle riding gunmen open fire upon tourists as they boarded bus in Cairo

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

German police hunting for seven suicide bombers who planned to blow up Munich railway stations

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)


#realityshows #TV They were all seated beside the TV set watching the latest edition of a popular reality show. It was in the cave of Lord Shiva and, even though Durga had a separate TV set in her cave as did her daughters Lakshmi and Saraswati, she walked over to Shiva’s cave for the shows. Her daughters accompanied her.
‘I was just wondering,’ Durga mused. ‘When do the wives get time to concentrate on their domestic chores?’
‘Why?’ Shiva asked. ‘There is a favorite saying - she who cooks also combs her hair.’
‘Not any longer,’ Lakshmi quipped. ‘Times have changed. The housewives have domestic helps who do the cooking. And – the housewives go to the local beautician for getting the hair done.’
‘But – I see many of them cook delicious meals in the TV shows,’ Shiva looked at his daughter. ‘That means they can cook. Then, why depend on outsiders?’
Lakshmi laughed.
‘Papa, don’t you know that the housewives today are very busy.’
‘Looking after the studies of their kids?’
‘No. They have private tutors for that.’
‘Oh – you mean they go for jobs? To augment the family income?’
‘Some of them do. But – most of them are always running for other reasons.’
‘Why? If they don’t cook or look after the studies of their kids, what keeps them busy?’
‘I’ll tell you,’ Saraswati joined the discussion. ‘All of them want to appear on TV. That is the latest fad. The hottest topic in any kitty party. Its all about participation.’
‘Participation is good,’ Shiva said. ‘It helps bonding.’
‘This is a different kind of participation,’ Sarasawati explained. ‘Here it is all about bringing home goodies like refrigerators, ovens, utensils, kitchenware carpets, dressing tables. And, becoming celebrities in their own circle.’
‘You mean shopping?’
‘No – winning prizes for guessing the weight of a pumpkin or answering puzzles or singing songs. The days of pallu wearing bahus have gone. Today’s bahus are all get setters. They love to narrate their real life love stories, how they had eloped to get married.’
‘You mean they do not have any time to spare?’ Shiva was surprised.
‘How can they?’ Saraswati shot back. ‘There are so many TV channels and umpteen number of reality shows. They have to learn the basics before they go for auditions. And, to learn the basics they have to attend grooming schools.’
‘Good,’ Shiva nodded. ‘I am glad to see that they have shed inhibitions. Long live women power.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)


Beautiful diners get tables near windows or high visibility areas in restaurants

Ahmedabad hosts 13th edition of 'Sattvik' - the pan-India food festival

53-year-old British woman flew 13000-mile in 1942 bi-plane from Farnborough to Sydney


Shah Rukh Khan’s fond wish - to see Ethan Hunt and James Bond in one movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in Dcember 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Motorcycle riding gunmen open fire upon tourists as they boarded bus in Cairo

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

German police hunting for seven suicide bombers who planned to blow up Munich railway stations

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Mandir robs Moody of his sleep (satire)


Moody entered his chamber and found a packet on his table. There was no name of the sender and, before he could pick up the intercom to ask his PA, the instrument broke the silence.
‘Yes?’ Moody was still drowsy. Hash Budden had prescribed mild sedatives for a good sleep but, Moody was apprehensive of such medicines. He relied more on Baba Someday’s remedies.
‘Have you got the message?’ Rum Mudda asked.
‘What message?’
‘Check your table, it must be there,’ Rum sounded irritated.
Moody looked and discovered only a pile of letters in his in tray – must be fresh arrivals.
‘There are a few letters in my in-tray,’ he said. ‘Tell me which the urgent one is. I’ll action it without any delay.’ ‘You mean you have not received the packet?’
‘Packet?’
‘Yes – it weighs around hundred grams,’ Rum Mudda asked.
‘What about its dimensions?’
‘Moody-ji, I am talking about the mandir,’ Mudda was exasperated.
‘Oh!’ Moody sighed. ‘I have explained it to you. My boys are on the job.’
‘I know,’ Rum Mudda said. ‘I have sent you a model of the temple. I want you to keep it on your table in front of your eyes. I do not want you to forget about it. Our very existence depends on the mandir.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody assured Rum Mudda.
‘Last year you were so busy on your foreign trips. The novelty must have worn off by now. So, it is time that you got down to business.’
Rum Mudda wanted the mandir, Subba Shami has begun talking about mandir, Baba Someday was also becoming impatient. Everyone wants the mandir and, our friend Moody was losing his precious sleep. As it is, his quota of sleep has been reducing with every passing day and, even by doing yoga, he had difficulty in remembering.
Like the time he mistook mandir for Mandira and another time fur madira – both were taboo for him. Mandira had made a name for herself in the field of cricket, and madira was a concoction that could rob you of your senses and make you dance to others’ tunes.
Suddenly he got the bright idea – there were still so many countries left to visit. He had thought of offloading the task to Sue Sharma. But – he was still the boss. The world has come to respect him. They identify India with Moody. He cannot let go of that advantage.
Mandir will not disappear but his chances might. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Use online honey trappers to test the fidelity of the spouse

NASA developing hopping drones to explore Martian caves for human settlement

Cleanliness drive by Railways - collects Rs 58 lakhs in fine from Delhi Railway station


Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie


Christmas Day bushfire destroys 100 homes in popular tourist spot of Lorne in Victoria

Migrants ready to pay £1,200 to people smugglers for trip across Channel in UK-registered car

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Friday, January 8, 2016

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)


Moody was subdued. Normally he took the lead but, of late, he was apprehensive. The ringing of the phone kept jolting him out of his trance. Yes, he was in a sort of a trance. Ever since the infiltration of bees, his friends from across the Seas kept reminding him that he must tread with greater caution. One must be careful while handling roses, they have thorns.
Suddenly the dreaded phone rang.
‘What is happening to my temple?’ it was Rum Mudda at the other end. He was Moody’s Boss and he sounded to be in a not-too-happy mood.
‘Temple?’ Moody squirmed in his chair.
‘Yes,’ Mudda expressed his annoyance. ‘I expected that you would put the matter on the fast track. But you are moving at a snail’s pace.’
‘I have my liabilities,’ Moody tried to explain. ‘It is a sensitive issue and it has to be given sufficient time. It falls in the category of ‘handle with care.’ Haste will make waste.’
‘What do you mean?’ Rum Mudda was impatient.
‘Work is on in full swing,’ Moody said. ‘I am keeping a tab on the progress and am getting regular feedback.’
‘But – we must declare a timeframe.’
‘Don’t worry Mudda-ji, all will come in due course. You cannot put the cat before the horse. Therefore, you must have patience.’
‘Oh Moody-ji, we have waited too long, we want to see the temple.’
‘Our boys have made a model. I have seen it when I last visited the workshop. It is just the right size to fit into the cavity of the rocket.’
‘Workshop? Rocket? What are you talking about?’ Rum Mudda flared up.
‘I am talking about the model of the temple that our boys in ISRO are making. They will send it to Mars in Mangalyaan-2. We will do what America or Russia or France or Japan have never thought of doing. We will position our temple, the first ever temple, on the Red Planet Mars. It will be a tribute to my Make in India philosophy.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Use online honey trappers to test the fidelity of the spouse

NASA developing hopping drones to explore Martian caves for human settlement

Cleanliness drive by Railways - collects Rs 58 lakhs in fine from Delhi Railway station


Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie


Christmas Day bushfire destroys 100 homes in popular tourist spot of Lorne in Victoria

Migrants ready to pay £1,200 to people smugglers for trip across Channel in UK-registered car

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Lord Shiva watches the antics of Didi (satire)


Lord Shiva was in a good mood – he held the binocular to his eyes and it was focused on the airport. He was watching big names walking down the lounge to get into their vehicles and make a beeline for the dinner date with Didi, the keeper of all she surveys.
‘At last things seem to be happening,’ Shiva mused.
‘What things?’ Durga asked.
She was standing beside Shiva – she was also in a happy mood. This year, winter was not severe and, that was why there was no need to put on warm clothes.
She realized that fashion changes with the time and that is why a new trend was emerging. She could see men and women with the shawl slung over the shoulder – they did not wrap it around the body as they normally did in the past. She first saw it in some TV serials, and she now knew the reason.
‘So many celebrities at a time in the airport!’ Shiva chuckled. ‘Didi has at last something to brag about. I saw a couple of central Ministers in the crowd.’
‘Yes,’ Durga grinned. ‘She has invited them to come.’
‘What is the occasion?’
‘Could be a late New Year party,’ Durga said. ‘She was so busy touring the countryside and, with all her meetings and distribution of cycles, she must have realized that she forgot about her New Year party.’
‘I heard she has personally rung up the invitees,’ Shiva murmured.
‘Yes, she knows how effective any personal approach is,’ Durga explained. ‘She wants positive results. Her time is running out and she needs to make sure that she does not go into oblivion.’
‘OK – but, tell me, she is always crying that she has no money. Then how does she manage to gift so many bicycles?’ ‘That is her secret,’ Durga smiled. ‘It is an example of woman power. They can do wonders.’
‘Do you have any idea about what her agenda is?’
Durga gave a hearty laugh.
‘It is just a dinner date in Nicco Park,’ she said. ‘All the big chefs will bowl over the guests. They will dance to the tunes of Bollywood heroes and heroines and, on the side, will discuss whether to invest in handicrafts industry or pickles industry.’
‘But – they have been debating for the last four years.’
‘Such debates will go on and on. Industrialists will come and go and Ganga will flow on forever.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Use online honey trappers to test the fidelity of the spouse

NASA developing hopping drones to explore Martian caves for human settlement

Cleanliness drive by Railways - collects Rs 58 lakhs in fine from Delhi Railway station


Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie


Christmas Day bushfire destroys 100 homes in popular tourist spot of Lorne in Victoria

Migrants ready to pay £1,200 to people smugglers for trip across Channel in UK-registered car

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Didi and her brainstorming session (satire)


Didi has grown old too fast – it was evident in the way she talked and even behaved. Gone were the days of showing off and crying herself hoarse over petty issues like cartoons. She seemed to be a reformed individual.
She had called for a brainstorming session in her Cully Ghat house which doubled up as her party’s office – the topic was industries. The reason for having a home-cum-office meant she was always at hand. Moreover, it translated into good business for the tea stalls nearby.
They supplied tea and snacks not only for her meetings but also for thousands of media persons who had to be always at hand to pick up sound bites, first hand, and who needed a place to rest their legs and gossip.
‘I want industries,’ Didi began. ‘What suggestions have you brought?’
‘My vote will go to nolen gur,’ Abhi Shake said. ‘It will be a certain winner. We can market it overseas and earn dollars. Moody-ji always harps on ‘Make in India’ – we will modify it to ‘Make in Bengal’. We will include in one of the online food portals. It will mean not just income in dollars but also be a boost to international flights from Kolkata airport.’
Didi looked towards Omit Misra who sat in one of the front row seats.
‘Omit babu, what do you think? Will it click?’ she asked.
‘Let me study the PPR, then only I can comment,’ Omit replied. He was a tired old man – over the past four years, he had been breaking his head to get a break. He had traveled with Didi to Singapore and London but, except sightseeing, nothing positive transpired.
‘What is PPR?’ Abhi asked.
‘It is the Preliminary Project Report. It should outline all relevant details. Once it gets approval, the DPR would also be necessary.’
‘DPR?” What is that?’
‘The Detailed Project Report. These are vital basics to set up any industry.’
‘How does it help?’
‘Such reports give a clear concept of what is being planned, how the work should proceed, what benefits would accrue etcetera.’
‘Omit-ji, I don’t need these. It is my people who will toil and manufacture the nolen gur. Dee Wreck will market it through the online portals. Bengalis from Hiroshima to Honolulu to Houston will go mad once they know that nolen gur has gone global and will be available at the click of the mouse. Omit-babu, you just keep track of the dollars, OK?’
‘But – who will finance these?’
Abhi Shake gave a hearty laugh.
‘There is no shortage of chit funds and gullible public who will use every opportunity to double their money in one year,’ Abhi explained. Then he looked at Didi. ‘What do you think?’ he asked her. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Use online honey trappers to test the fidelity of the spouse

NASA developing hopping drones to explore Martian caves for human settlement

Cleanliness drive by Railways - collects Rs 58 lakhs in fine from Delhi Railway station


Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie


Christmas Day bushfire destroys 100 homes in popular tourist spot of Lorne in Victoria

Migrants ready to pay £1,200 to people smugglers for trip across Channel in UK-registered car

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Monday, January 4, 2016

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)


Things were getting jittery for Abhi Shake – from the way Didi behaved, he had got the impression that Moo Cool was a goner and Abhi could occupy the seat quite easily. But – that may not happen so soon.
‘What is biting you?’ Omit Misra asked. He was a wizened old soul and knew from experience that there was trouble brewing.
‘Nothing,’ Abhi replied – ‘actually, I was thinking about nolen gur. This year, winter has not set in properly and nolen gur is suffering.’
Omit Misra grimaced. Abhi had, unknowingly, touched a tender spot. Didi had asked to invest money in the nolen gur industry and, with the climate playing truant, how could such an industry survive?
‘I am worried about the return of Moo Cool,’ Abhi admitted.
Omit Misra knew that the return of Moo Cool had spoilt the party for many stalwarts. He had heard that Moo Cool and Didi had a long association and he also knew that Moo Cool always thought up winning strategies. Omit had an inkling that Didi would suddenly spring some surprise.
Suddenly Dee Wreck entered with Show Van and Patro Chatto.
‘Why are you so forlorn?’ Dee Wreck occupied the chair beside Abhi and asked.
‘I am worried about nolen gur,’ Abhi said. ‘It has vanished from the market.’
‘If you want I can get you loads of them,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘Do you want the raw gur or the finished product like nolen gurer sandesh? I know a shop that can supply in Kgs.’
Before Abhi could reply, Patro cleared his throat to draw attention.
‘As you all know, Didi is worried about the new-found energy of the Reds,’ he spoke. ‘She wants to wipe them off the slate. And, we must help her retain her position. Remember, if she goes, we are sunk.’
‘I will launch a campaign in the social media,’ Dee Wreck assured. ‘That is the best way to attract attention.’
‘I will gather support from the poor gur makers,’ Abhi said. ‘Their votes will also count. Since nolen gur is what our brothers pine for, I will take up the issue and fight for their cause. If they survive, our industry will also survive. It does not require much land. Whatever land bank we have will be sufficient. Investment also is less but profits are huge. Remember the Amitabh Bachhan movie Saudagar – the name means ‘businessman’.’
Omit Misra heaved a sigh of relief. If only some business house invested in nolen gur it would open up the doors for others. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Use online honey trappers to test the fidelity of the spouse

NASA developing hopping drones to explore Martian caves for human settlement

Cleanliness drive by Railways - collects Rs 58 lakhs in fine from Delhi Railway station


Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie


Christmas Day bushfire destroys 100 homes in popular tourist spot of Lorne in Victoria

Migrants ready to pay £1,200 to people smugglers for trip across Channel in UK-registered car

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Midnight attack sends Moody into a tizzy (satire)


Moody woke up with a start – it was the hotline and it was Uncle Sam at the other end.
‘Hey man, what is happening? I have come to know that there has been infiltration in your area,’ there was genuine concern in his voice.
‘Nothing extraordinary,’ Moody replied.
‘Don’t hide facts, I have eyes and ears everywhere,’ Uncle Sam said. ‘I presumed that you have resolved the problem with your neighbor once and for all during your recent flying visit.’
‘But, I have,’ Moody replied.
‘Then why did the attack happen?’
‘Attack?’
‘Strange that you do not know about the attack,’ the Big Man switched off.
Immediately, the other hotline rang – it was the man from behind the Iron curtain followed by the one from behind the bamboo curtain to the one from the land of the rising Sun.
All of them talked about infiltration from the neighbor.
Moody was furious – not on his men who failed to keep him updated but on his neighbor. He had gifted him a turban, he had wished him a happy birthday a week back, and he was the man who had promised to be good. How could he, all of a sudden, turn into a villain?
‘What is this you have done my friend?’ he rang him up and asked. ‘Why have you put me in this embarrassing position?’
‘I am sorry,’ his friend apologized. ‘Some naughty boys played some mischief. You know how these youngsters behave. They suffer from over enthusiasm.’
‘I know,’ Moody murmured. ‘But – it has hurt my reputation. Uncle Sam spoke to me just now. He, like everyone else, looks upon me with respect and I have impressed the whole world with my sincerity. This attack was most unexpected.’
‘Moody-ji, I said I am sorry,’ his friend replied. ‘You also have many naughty boys in your setup. They keep instigating others, they make unwanted statements and unwanted incidents keep happening.’
‘But – what your boys have done is unpardonable,’ Moody expressed annoyance. ‘It is winter and freezing cold. Why should they select such an odd time to attack? Do you know that I am losing my sleep? I hardly get to sleep for four hours and tonight, I will lose that also.’
“My dear Moody-ji, I assure you that the boys did not have any bad intentions,’ the friend explained. ‘It was all the fault of the bees.’
‘Bees?’
“Yes – honeybees. A bunch of them flew away from the hive and my boys went after them to get them back. They did not want our bees to sting your men. Obviously, they had to go as quietly as possible otherwise the bees would have flown away still further.’
‘You mean bees from the honey trap?’
‘Not exactly a trap but, yes, a sticky affair,’ his friend laughed. ‘You must know that honey is a sticky affair. Anyway – let us discuss our next step.’
‘My Bosses will not be amused,’ Moody sighed. ‘They do not understand that maintaining strained relationship is a tough task.’
‘Don’t worry, I am confident that you will find a way out,’ his friend said. ‘Next time I go to meet Uncle Sam, I will drop by your place to repay your courtesy visit.’ And, he began to hum the favorite tune – ‘Kuchh to log kahenge logon ka kaam hai kehnaa’ from the movie Amar Prem. …’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Some more interesting links -

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Use online honey trappers to test the fidelity of the spouse

NASA developing hopping drones to explore Martian caves for human settlement

Cleanliness drive by Railways - collects Rs 58 lakhs in fine from Delhi Railway station


Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie


Christmas Day bushfire destroys 100 homes in popular tourist spot of Lorne in Victoria

Migrants ready to pay £1,200 to people smugglers for trip across Channel in UK-registered car

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Friday, January 1, 2016

Kimonos and Love in Tokyo for Moody (satire)


From a distance Moody could see a number of people seated outside his office and they did not look like any one he knew in his capacity as the CEO of the country. One group sat a little apart – he could make out that they had with them some equipment.
It all appeared to be a bit mysterious.
It was then that he noticed the women – all of them were well past their prime and would hardly make any head turn but, he had to rely on them.
‘I have brought the people,’ Sue Sharma came up close to Moody and whispered.
‘Who are they?’ Moody asked.
‘They are fashion designers,’ Sue explained. ‘Experts who have a tremendous following in the fashion world. Our heroines depend on their creations.’
“But – I don’t need any new dress,’ Moody said. ‘I have decided to curtail my foreign trips.’
‘No problem’ Sue flashed her pearl white teeth and said. ‘They have Japanese experience.’
‘Japanese?’ Moody’s face lit up.
‘Yes – they have come to show you an assortment of their products. They have used cloth, wool, silk and even polyester.’
‘And – what is their specialty?’
‘Kimonos – the dress that leaves everything to the imagination,’ Sue said.
‘That would be wonderful,’ Moody was pleased. ‘The clothes that girls wear today leaves very little to the imagination. We can change all that.’
‘That is why I invited them in.’
‘Good – and, what about that other group?’
It was now Emma Melaney who came forward.
‘They have brought a film,’ Emma said. ‘It depicts a section of Japanese lifestyle.’
‘Film?’ Moody stared at Emma.
‘Yes – it is an oldie of 1960 vintage but Japanese lifestyle has not changed much. Once you see it you will realize how they behave.’
Moody entered his chamber along with Sue Sharma, Emma Melaney, Ranee-ji, and Uma-ji. The gathering of fashion designers and the movie group also trooped in. And after a round of coconut water, they began to unfold their creations.
It was a wide range of kimonos – the truly Japanese dress. It conceals everything except the face. That is what Moody wanted. Women and girls must wear such a dress that keeps curious eyes at a distance. If enforced, it will do away with many crimes associated with the fairer sex.
The presentations went on and on and, plates of dhokla came and vanished.
And, when they finished, the film group came up. The film they had brought with them was Love in Tokyo’. (to be continued …)

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